Dear Brothers, Don't Chase For The Sake Of Chasing By Mel

We hear this all the time that men are supposed to be the hunters and do whatever it takes to win a woman’s heart.  That may be true to a certain extent but I would advise my fellow brothers to not take this at full-face value.  Most men have been taught this method growing up including myself.  Truthfully with this way of thinking, there is no balance in place between both parties and if a relationship was to blossom the structure or foundation will be lopsided.  Let me give you an example….

I knew this fellow brother who’s been single for a very long time.  He has a great career yet does not have a companion by his side.  I noticed, whenever he sees a beautiful woman he gets excited (like a little boy in the candy store) which sends out desperation energy in which women can sense.  A few reasons why he’s been lonely for a long time is related to his approach structure and preconceived notion of desperately chasing a woman until she changes her mind and settles down with him.  For instance, it was this one woman he found very attractive but the problem was she was not attracted to him.  At first, he would buy her gifts, give her money but over time it went from stage green (chasing) to stage yellow (desperation) to stage red (stalking).  It became so bad that he took it upon himself to show up at her job unannounced and drive passed her gym to see if she’s available.  That’s what I call the ‘Pursuit Indicator’ and also that’s a sign for my fellow sisters to look out for.  After stage red, she decided to get a restraining order on him.  I do feel that a man should engage a woman first, however, if she’s not attracted to him I would advise him to move on.