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No Love in the Club The 90/10 Rule By Vaughn James


If you’re in your mid 30’s or just turned 40, you shouldn’t be in the club every weekend. Guys, you seriously don’t want to be the sleazy old man in the club. And ladies, you shouldn’t be out getting your drink on, leaving your fourteen year old teenager to watch your younger kids. The fact is, even when we were all young, the chances that men and women could find a meaning full relationship in a club was next to zero, but closer to 5%. “Wait a minute”, you may ask, “how can that be quantified?” I’ll explain. Simply, when we go out to the clubs, 90% of the men are trying to get with 10% of the women and 90% of the women are trying to get with 10% of the men. So, the likelihood that there will be any kind of real hookup is 5%, half of 10%. Besides, the club is a terrible place to meet someone. They are overly hyped by the radio station and promoters, who make it seem like your life will end if you don’t go to their club Friday and Saturday nights.

Additionally, the mixed alcohol, muted lighting and loud music can affect your decision making. When we’re drinking we do things that we normally don’t usually do, having “liquid courage”. Clubs are dimly lit and if you decided not to wear your glasses to look cute, you have no idea who or what you’re talking to. Lastly, with the loud music how can you have a decent conversation with someone? This combination is a recipe for disaster and many regrets the next morning. When the club is over, the good girls have gone home to their boyfriends and children. All that are left at the end of the night are the straggling hoodboogers and the n***gas, who weren’t dressed properly or too broke to get in, lingering outside. These guys circle like vultures trying to pick off the weak, wounded and the homely.

The club is a manufactured environment. Most are false advertising, not showing who they really are. It’s much better to meet each other traveling to work, at the supermarket, taking your children to school, etc. Why not engage in meaningful conversation with a stranger, to get to know him or her? Does it matter she is a CNA, wearing her scrubs, or he’s a construction worker, wearing a reflective yellow vest and boots, both coming from a hard day of work? However, if you’re of an older vintage like me, stick to lounges and restaurants if you need a drink or to socialize. Be yourself and love will find you.

Comments

  1. CassandraDecember 8, 2014 at 2:16 PM

    This is some great information. I have never heard of the 90/20 rule but I used to be that girl in the club. I say used to because after a certain age you realize that what you are looking for is not in the club scene. I am not saying you can't meet someone nice, but when you do, how can you be sure this is not false advertising as you said. Always be confident and always be yourself. Remember a person can only hide who they really are for a short time and then his or her true colors will shine through. Nicely written

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