Skip to main content

No Love in the Club The 90/10 Rule By Vaughn James


If you’re in your mid 30’s or just turned 40, you shouldn’t be in the club every weekend. Guys, you seriously don’t want to be the sleazy old man in the club. And ladies, you shouldn’t be out getting your drink on, leaving your fourteen year old teenager to watch your younger kids. The fact is, even when we were all young, the chances that men and women could find a meaning full relationship in a club was next to zero, but closer to 5%. “Wait a minute”, you may ask, “how can that be quantified?” I’ll explain. Simply, when we go out to the clubs, 90% of the men are trying to get with 10% of the women and 90% of the women are trying to get with 10% of the men. So, the likelihood that there will be any kind of real hookup is 5%, half of 10%. Besides, the club is a terrible place to meet someone. They are overly hyped by the radio station and promoters, who make it seem like your life will end if you don’t go to their club Friday and Saturday nights.

Additionally, the mixed alcohol, muted lighting and loud music can affect your decision making. When we’re drinking we do things that we normally don’t usually do, having “liquid courage”. Clubs are dimly lit and if you decided not to wear your glasses to look cute, you have no idea who or what you’re talking to. Lastly, with the loud music how can you have a decent conversation with someone? This combination is a recipe for disaster and many regrets the next morning. When the club is over, the good girls have gone home to their boyfriends and children. All that are left at the end of the night are the straggling hoodboogers and the n***gas, who weren’t dressed properly or too broke to get in, lingering outside. These guys circle like vultures trying to pick off the weak, wounded and the homely.

The club is a manufactured environment. Most are false advertising, not showing who they really are. It’s much better to meet each other traveling to work, at the supermarket, taking your children to school, etc. Why not engage in meaningful conversation with a stranger, to get to know him or her? Does it matter she is a CNA, wearing her scrubs, or he’s a construction worker, wearing a reflective yellow vest and boots, both coming from a hard day of work? However, if you’re of an older vintage like me, stick to lounges and restaurants if you need a drink or to socialize. Be yourself and love will find you.

Comments

  1. This is some great information. I have never heard of the 90/20 rule but I used to be that girl in the club. I say used to because after a certain age you realize that what you are looking for is not in the club scene. I am not saying you can't meet someone nice, but when you do, how can you be sure this is not false advertising as you said. Always be confident and always be yourself. Remember a person can only hide who they really are for a short time and then his or her true colors will shine through. Nicely written

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Single Fathers should get more exposure By Mel

Father! - To God himself we cannot give a holier name by William Wordsworth is such a powerful quote.   I would like to say single and non-residential fathers are portrayed in the media as irresponsible and non-supportive to their kids.   Well, I’m here to share with you through some research that it is not entirely true.   Even though single and non-residential fathers as a whole are an understudied group there’s still some truth that single and supportive non-residential fathers do exist.   Some fathers are working 2 part-time jobs and are unable to get government assistance.   The media rarely report positive fathers working 7 days a week with no days off, struggling paycheck to paycheck.    For myself as a non-residential father, I still support my daughter in every aspect, however the role of a father is never recognize or acknowledge for my continuous involvement.   ·          A Non-resident...

BE who you ARE, not who the World wants you to BE By Mel

  Life is full surprises.   When you’re out there in the field you get a sense that all eyes are on you.   That oil to your engine is confidence .   Every ounce in your body engages you to stay well groomed, sell your image, build your vocabulary and practice on your art or goals in life.   That’s a very attractive trait to have and I will tell you why.   The love you put inside yourself shines externally which creates this invisible aura.   It creates offensive projections defined as the way you carry yourself or how you interact with people combine with defensive measures such as keeping your guard up and not allowing people to take advantage of you.   We all have our moments when we navigate in unfamiliar territory.   For example, giving your time and effort to someone who shortchanged you or getting laid off from a promising career just because you challenged the status quo.   Sometimes you feel betrayed but let me share som...