Wednesday, May 6, 2015

The Journey Continues (Part Two) By Mel

What I learned from this journey is that single fathers go through the same struggle as single mothers but we are not treated the same.  I mentioned in my blog that some women feel that they do not need a positive father in their child’s life and their nurturing skills alone are enough to raise a child.  Not true, in fact according to a study done by the U.S. Department of Education, “An active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.”  The majority of us are portrayed in the media as dead beat dads.  Not true, in fact from my own experience I worked two part-time jobs, arrange for family members to care for her while I was at work because ‘Care for Kids’ was getting pretty expensive.  The media rarely report positive single fathers working 7 days a week with no days off, struggling to make ends meet.  Most of us single fathers are sometimes affected by job lose and the way society view men is that we are raise to have a shell shock exterior.  Our society is structure that we should not ask for help from the government to help us support our kids.  Single fathers asking for financial, emotional or physical help is view by some people as a sign of weakness.  I learned that what is often exposed from the media is that fathers are irresponsible and non-supportive to our children which are often not the case.  Committed single fathers go out of their way to be there for their children.  One gentleman who I met from The Russell Chris stated, “No matter what the financial obstacle, visitation rights, and custody battles I may endure my child will appreciate my effort as she gets older.”  In fact, most fathers who seek custody feel an even stronger bond with their children.  The media paints a picture that single fathers are incompetent and lazy.  For example, Sarah Petersen from Deseret News reported, “A Huggies diapers commercial which aired early last year stated, to prove Huggies can handle just about anything, we put them to the toughest test imaginable: dads, alone with their babies, in one house, for five days.”  This makes me sick to my stomach knowing that hardworking fathers out there today are making sacrifices for their children to have a better future.

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