What I learned from
this journey is that single fathers go through the same struggle as single mothers
but we are not treated the same. I
mentioned in my blog that some women feel that they do not need a positive
father in their child’s life and their nurturing skills alone are enough to
raise a child. Not true, in fact
according to a study done by the U.S. Department of Education, “An active and
nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills,
intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.” The majority of us are portrayed in the media
as dead beat dads. Not true, in fact
from my own experience I worked two part-time jobs, arrange for family members
to care for her while I was at work because ‘Care for Kids’ was getting pretty
expensive. The media rarely report
positive single fathers working 7 days a week with no days off, struggling to
make ends meet. Most of us single
fathers are sometimes affected by job lose and the way society view men is that
we are raise to have a shell shock exterior.
Our society is structure that we should not ask for help from the
government to help us support our kids.
Single fathers asking for financial, emotional or physical help is view
by some people as a sign of weakness. I
learned that what is often exposed from the media is that fathers are
irresponsible and non-supportive to our children which are often not the case. Committed single fathers go out of their way
to be there for their children. One
gentleman who I met from The Russell Chris stated, “No matter what the
financial obstacle, visitation rights, and custody battles I may endure my
child will appreciate my effort as she gets older.” In fact, most fathers who seek custody feel
an even stronger bond with their children.
The media paints a picture that single fathers are incompetent and
lazy. For example, Sarah Petersen from
Deseret News reported, “A Huggies diapers commercial which aired early last
year stated, to prove Huggies can handle just about anything, we put them to
the toughest test imaginable: dads, alone with their babies, in one house, for
five days.” This makes me sick to my
stomach knowing that hardworking fathers out there today are making sacrifices
for their children to have a better future.
Life is full surprises. When you’re out there in the field you get a sense that all eyes are on you. That oil to your engine is confidence . Every ounce in your body engages you to stay well groomed, sell your image, build your vocabulary and practice on your art or goals in life. That’s a very attractive trait to have and I will tell you why. The love you put inside yourself shines externally which creates this invisible aura. It creates offensive projections defined as the way you carry yourself or how you interact with people combine with defensive measures such as keeping your guard up and not allowing people to take advantage of you. We all have our moments when we navigate in unfamiliar territory. For example, giving your time and effort to someone who shortchanged you or getting laid off from a promising career just because you challenged the status quo. Sometimes you feel betrayed but let me share som...
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